Gain control of your life by changing your internal dialogue
Do good things happen in your life by chance? Some seem to think so; however, I know for a fact that when you think of things in a specific way, good things start to happen. This means that good things happen because of action and not because of chance. Our thoughts determine our future and the key is to pay attention to your internal dialogue.
What is your internal dialogue?
Your internal dialogue is that voice inside your head which commentates on everything around you. It is the voice that applies your logic and reasoning to situations. For example your internal dialogue allows you to:
- make decisions about things like how something makes you feel
- form an opinion on something
- decide if you believe something or not
- know whether or not to do a certain thing or not
- know if you should change what you are doing
It is non-stop and continually shapes your world how you see it. Depending on what your internal dialogue says at key points in your life will determine not only how you feel about certain things but also what you believe about yourself and things around you and this will determine to your body where best to spend your energy.
Oh and one thing I should mention, your internal dialogue runs automatically if you let it however, if you pay attention to it, you can choose what you say to yourself.
The link between thoughts and feelings
When you are happy the muscles in your cheeks contract causing you to smile. Similarly, if you contract the muscles in your cheeks and you smile, this causes you to feel happy: they are both directly linked.
This link is also true between what you think and what you feel. If you feel bad, it will be because you are thinking negative thoughts and if you feel good you will be thinking positive thoughts. These are generally unconscious (automatic); however, by paying attention to your thoughts you bring them into conscious (manual) awareness and can change them.
Are you in control of your feelings?
Or are your feelings in control of you?
If your feelings are ever sometimes in control of you, this technique of listening will be of use to you and will give you an insight as to why this may be dominating your life. Once you have an awareness of what you are saying to yourself, you will find that thinking positively becomes much easier. If you want to learn more about this I made an interesting post on positive thinking.
Choose your thoughts wisely
Once you fully accept that what we think controls how we feel, the other links in the chain from feelings to your future in the diagram below become easier to grasp.
In the same way that the captain in the control room powers the submarine, our thoughts power our feelings which subsequently leads onto controlling our future.
On one hand if you are constantly thinking sad things which make you feel sad your behaviour will reflect this. You may keep your head down or stop talking to people and over time this will become an unhelpful habit and you may not want to go out of the house as a result. As a knock on effect, over time your personality will change and your future might not turn out as you want it to.
On the other hand, if you become aware of thoughts that are making you feel sad, decide to learn from them and change your thoughts; look at the positive side of things that will make you feel happy and empowered and your behaviour will start to reflect that. Over time you will install this positive thinking as a habit and will most likely start smiling at people and complementing them which will improve your personality and will ultimately determine your future.
Do you know what your future looks like? If you want some guidance with a direction in your life this post on Goal Setting will really help you focus on your future and maintain positive feelings associated with it.
Just for the record, it is perfectly OK to have feelings. In fact it is healthy for you to have negative feelings as it is how we learn and grow as people. However, if they are unresolved for prolonged periods, they are not good. Read more about how to resolve negative emotions.
A simple technique you can start using today
The next time you feel negative about something I’d like you to pay attention to what you are thinking and just for fun, think the opposite and make it 10 times bigger and better and see how it makes you feel.
So if you have no money, think about being very wealthy. If you have just split up with a partner, think what it would be like meeting someone with all the qualities you personally desire. If you’re feeling lonely and fed up with your friends, imagine what it would be like in your ideal world, what qualities would you want your friends to have?
Feeling positive will cause positive things to happen. It is the basic fundamental to the law of attraction.
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